Populism prevails. Let’s picture the outcome of our federal government spending trillions of dollars that it needs to borrow from China, Europe and Russia, our new bankers and mortgage holders.
Setting is in the Whitehouse about dinnertime. Phone rings…
Person on phone: Is this Bolak?
Person on phone: Bolak Omaba
Obama: I’m sorry… there is no one here by that name. You must have the wrong number.
Person on phone: Yu no tlickie me. I no yu be Omaba. You be deadbeet. Pay up tlilion dalas intelest you oe now. We can make bad fo yu!
Obama: Uh… I said you have the wrong number.
Background Voice: Honey, who is that on the phone? Is someone threatening you? You look pale!
Obama: (putting his hand over the receiver) Shhh. It’s the Chinese again asking for their interest payment.
Background Voice: Oh my God! When are they going to stop harassing us? They know we don’t have the money right now. What do they expect?
Person on phone: I leepete… pay up mista Omaba! We get money by tomolow oh we put led an bactelia in all stuff we make fo Wallmalt.
Obama: (still covering the receiver) Oh my! They are threatening to taint all of the goods we import from them with lead and SARs. I have to do something. (pause, with a thinking frown)
Background voice: Can’t we sell some more government bonds or print some more dollars to make a payment.
Obama: (turns on the speaker phone)
Person on phone: No tlicke tlicke. You pay wif gold. No wan no mo funny paper from yu
Obama: (placing speaker phone on mute). Those options are gone. We need hard currency, and now!
Background voice: We can’t count on our European friends. They already cut us off. What about our rich taxpayers? Let’s ask them to pony up some more cash.
Person on phone: (over the speaker phone) You no speak dedbeet? What yu do about money?
Obama: (speaker phone still on mute) Can’t do that, honey. Most of our rich tax payers have found loopholes or left the country. Those that remain would only pay us in worthless dollars. God I wish we had invested in gold before I went on this spending spree!
Person on phone: Yu ansel me yu deadbeet!
Obama: (hangs up phone) I need to call Sam Walton and warn him about the lead and stuff.